Random Thought of the Day

Aren't you tired of that someone
who always talks in such an arrogant way,
believing that he or she
is the only one who cares? 


 Well, I am.

What-Ever-Suits-You! Vol 4

Don't be judgmental. It's not what you think. :-)

I was actually falling asleep, but the more I procrastinate, the surer I am that I will never write about the gig that I went to last Saturday (just like what happened to Smells Like Girls Spirit pfft). So I decided to defer my sleep a bit and start writing! :))

Wokeh. The gig, What-Ever-Suits-You! Vol 4, took place at DoPPel Kafe and was kick-started by Stereo Android, a four-piece band based in Pahang and fronted by Chi Puding. Of course, the gig started a little later than scheduled, but I don't think that that's a really big deal to anyone since it has been that way for EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR...... I forgot how many songs they played, in fact, I don't remember how many songs that each band played that day. Pfft. I gotta start taking down notes if I wanna continue blogging about gigs/bands/etc seriously after this. Actually, I did bring a small notebook and a pen in my bag butttt I didn't want to appear like a real nerd at a GIG you know. However, I think I need to sacrifice coolness for the sake of more accurate writing next time. Uh huh.

Stereo Android

Pipe Volume

Pipe Volume

The second band to perform was Klang-based Pipe Volume or was it Stillaway? Seriously, I can't recall which band is Stillaway, pleaseeee somebody help me!!! I seriously need to take down notes next time!!! Urgh. OK, whatever lah, let's go on to the next band. The next band is special because....... because lead singer dia hensem! Hahahahahahaha ok ok kiddin'. The next band was Melodychain, which is fronted by Darn Phill (nama fesbuk jak nie semua nieee :P) and comes from the state where I was born and raised, Sabah, the land below the wind. :)) (I bought their t-shirt and CD thanks to Darn Phill's marketing talent bahahahahaha and in fact, I am listening to their song right now! Kbai). They sang a couple of their own songs as well as covers of Battleground and Flossy (band2 otai ni jangan sembarangan!). Ben Joe of Hurly Burly had to replace their drummer who had just become a father of his second daughter (if I heard correctly) recently, thus wasn't able to be there.

I believe this is Stillaway? (Yeah, this IS Stillaway you silly Nurul - June 30)

Melodychain feat. Ben Joe of Hurly Burly

Meatplow

Meatplow

The gig was continued with the Black Sabbath-Led Zeppelin-and (of course)-Stone Temple Pilots-influenced band from Ampang, Meatplow, a band that I fell for instantly after watching them live for the first time at Kami Mahukan Grunge Jgn Tipu Kami!!! and fell for harder after seeing them again at Smells Like Girls Spirit. I was a little surprised that the vocalist, Saiful Rudean, didn't bring his trademark loudhailer with him that day. What I really like about them is their style and honesty and loudness and energy and the fact that they told the stories of their songs clearly to the audience. In short, they were ALIVE. Well, at least Saiful Rudean was. Some bands tend to forget that music is and has always been part of communication, which does not only involve words and sound but also physiology. I noticed that most guitarists/bassists are always hiding comfortably by their amp or just stare at their guitar necks and don't do much to involve people in the show or simply rely too much on the vocalists. You have to MOVE boys! Okay, shut up Nurul.

 Meatplow was followed by Rock n Roll John, which apparently is BIG (shame on me I've never heard of them before, but better late than never right?) Based on the comments that I read on GGB page and my own first experience that night, this band has an excellent showmanship and performance skills, and I love the fact that they did a cover of M Nasir too! How rare! No offence, but you can really tell the difference between a well-rehearsed band and a not-so-well-rehearsed one, and Rock n Roll John falls in the former category. Although.... I was a bit irked at first by the fact that they refused to start performing due to the smaller size of crowd at that moment. I was like, "Heyyy... The audience needs a break too okay... C'monnnn just play already...." For me, a band is supposed to be willing to do just as good a show for the five people who bothered to show up on a certain day as they do for a packed house on any other day. But later during the show, the vocalist did apologise to the audience for saying "Kate gerakan grunge bangkit, tak bangkit punnnn" earlier because he finally realised how wrong he was once the crowd came back in from their short break. Hey, we are a bunch of awesome crowd okay, have some faith in us. :P Nasib baik they WERE awesome, so, don't worry Rock n Roll John, you're forgiven. After all, we never take anything seriously anyway, right peeps? *nervous laugh*

Rock n Roll John

Nameless

Nameless

The Outbreak was next in line and at this moment I was too hungry to even stand up so I sat on the floor during their entire performance (and I couldn't even bother to take pictures of them ooppsss). Good performance, good songs, but too bad I couldn't concentrate as my head was aching due to extreme hunger. Exaggerating pulak! :P The gig ended with Nameless, nama (nama jak lah :P) yg sebenarnya tidak asing bagi aku (aik tiba2 Malay pfftt) :P Anddd... weirdly larat pulak aku berdiri depan stage tu untuk tengok diorang perform. Ahahahaha I'm so sorry The Outbreak! Maybe I was saving my energy for them. :P They mostly sang Nirvana's songs and they weren't so kaku on stage, and Sam with his Krist Novoselic-influenced style of playing bass, so it was worth it lah for me. But... one thing that I think I must mention about them is that they didn't really play seriously. I think lah, based on what I see and feel. But probably that's just what they are you know. A bunch of really playful and really funny and really crazy guys, especially Afro. Hahaha. But then again, it's probably me and not them. Maybe they did play bersungguh-sungguh that night, but I was the one who didn't see it. As usual, we ended that day with a late-night supper ramai2. Sangat2 terharu that they, specifically Iqa, in fact asked me to join them. You know, you-feel-like-you-belong-kind-of-stuff. :)) All in all, I enjoyed the gig and look forward to the forthcoming shows! :D

P/S: I went alone again this time okay! Who says I need HIM to have fun!! \m/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To My Dearest Mohd Hashwan bin Ahmed Nashriq (bukan nama sebenar)

Not everything in this world has to go your way my dear, as the world does not revolve around you. No matter how bad and ugly the situations are, you just have to go through what life throws at you, including my blog. Trust me baby, it's not as bad as what you had put me through.

In the future, if you have one at all,
please don't go around breaking fucking with people's hearts if you don't want people to say or write bad things about you. Savvy?

Sincerely,
Your beloved Nurul
xoxo

I Mean It

I know I am being mean,
But this is the only place where I am allowed to be this mean,
Where I can allow myself to be this mean,
Somehow, I am grateful for this hatred, this contempt, this loathing, this enmity,
As I need it,
Not to cover up my sadness, but to fight it.

And I mean it.

A Note of Bitterness on Sunday Morning

It's Sunday and I am far from feeling lazy. I intended to clean the fridge yesterday but postponed it to today, but I find myself not able to do it because one of my housemates (the rest have gone out) is up watching TV in the hall. I feel embarrassed to do it in front of them as I am afraid they would be embarrassed by it. So... Most likely I will have to postpone it again? Urgh... Why do I have to blog about this when I have far more interesting things to blog about? For example, Faezah's wedding and... yeah, that's all. Lol.

It's been about two weeks since I last met Nasik. Maybe... that was the last time I will ever see him again. We had a fight and I'm sure none of us would want to see each other again. Reason? My blog. Hah! Apa lagi? Takut kantoi la tu!! He asked, no, he pleaded me not to mention his name ever again in my blog. Of course I got furious!!! It's my fuckin' blog OK!! I am entitled to write whatever I want in it. It's MY life I'm writing about, not HIS!! Takut bini dia terbaca la tu. Buduh. Dua2 palui! Sepa suruh teda kerja lain stalk orang seja. Bangang. Salah sendiri gatal mau baca blog aku apahal???? Bila aku tanya "Is this about that woman???" He said "Tak lah. Saya tak fikir pun pasal pempuan tu." And when I asked "Do you really love her?" he just shrugged. Hah! So I told him this, "The only thing you can do is stop reading my blog!! Or better, tell that bitch of yours to stop stalking me!!!" and I added "You deserve all the miseries in your life right now and I am thrilled to see you unhappy."

I felt... Powerful. Yes. Powerful. Unlike before, unlike the way I used to be when it comes to him. I am in control of myself, my life, and I am so thankful to Allah for that, for the strength that I am given. Yeah, it does still hurt when I think about it sometimes, but I don't cry the way I did before. I mean, it still brings tears to my eyes but not as bad as before. The most important thing is this, if not because of my blog, he will definitely continue wanting to see me. Poor, poor Shitda. Kalau bukan pasal takut kantoi, he will continue sneaking around behind your back, do you not know that Shitda??? Do you not realise that he has NEVER changed??? Kalau boleh aku mau sampai kau tinggalkan dia!! Padan muka dia!! But you are too stupid for that. You are so fuckin' stupid you are such a shame to the entire female population in this whole wide world!! And I'm glad it's not me who is stuck with him. It's YOU. It's fuckin' YOU Shitda!!! You both deserve each other because I, NHJ, deserve so much better than this!!! You don't have any self-respect and like I said, you are such a shame to the entire womanhood of planet Earth!! And I'm so glad I'm not you! If you, both of you, haven't realised it yet, THIS, yes MY BLOG, is my revenge! My sweet, finger lickin' revenge!

Well, that escalated quickly. Kbye.

Having Fun With My Pink Camera

Hey hey heyyyy I bought the cameraaaa :D :D :D

 

 

Honest and Unmerciful

Alrighttt... I think I can spare some time to blog now. Nasib baik lah Ria mintak the PH team help me with Acer backlogs. Kalau ndak, memang lah 24/7 aku buat kerja ni. Syukur... And today I am supposed to be at Joanne's farewell lunch, but I couldn't go as it was raining. You seriously think I would want to go through the rain for the farewell lunch? No way man. Plus, I wasn't really up for it in the first place anyway. So thank you Allah for making it rain this morning haha :D Faezah just left for Batu Pahat this early afternoon after having lunch with me. Her nikah and wedding ceremony will be held this Sunday, and I'll be going to Batu Pahat on Saturday evening with Ain and Liza. I really hope that my pay will be cleared by Saturday. I need to buy a camera and also Faezah's wedding gift. Lol. Hadiah tu teda problem but the cameraaaa.... Nasib baik I already know which camera to buy lah so what's left for me to do is just go to the Canon shop at Mid Valley and terus beli jak. Haha. This is how the desired camera looks like. :D

The model is Canon PowerShot A3300 IS, which according to Canon Malaysia's official website is priced at RM599, 16MP, with 5X optical zoom, and it offers fish-eye effect along with other effects, plus, it's available in the very colour that I love! <3 Ndak sabar mo pi beli my first camera everrrr hahahaha :D Aku bukannya pro ambik gambar pun. I just point and shoot, so ini pun kira ok la suda nie... Hehehe. Lagipun reviews pasal camera ni ok jugak... Lalalala :) Tu lah awal2 namau beli kan, baru tau. Skarang kena tunggu gaji bulan May masuk plak. Hahahaha. Lepas ni senang la mo blog, ada kamera sendiri sudah. Before this asyik pinjam Ezura punya jak. Hehehe.

It's been exactly 15 days after I moved (back) here in Serdang. I used to live here during my university years. So far, so good. Life's been better as I feel less lonely now. I know it's gonna change again soon once Faezah moves in with Baen. I know this sounds selfish, but I do hope that it's not gonna be too soon. Hee... Well, I think I already got used to being single. I don't moan anymore. I got over it somehow.

Although, the past few weeks had not been really good for me, because... urgh this is pathetic. Because Ally has a new girlfriend. I unfriended him last week I think, because I just couldn't stand it anymore. I don't hate him. Of course. I do still wanna be friends with him, but the reason I removed him was to avoid seeing posts about his new girlfriend. I forgot that now Facebook has the feature where we can just simply unclick the "Show in news feed" button. Duhhh... I didn't have to unfriend him, lol. I forgot okay. He might get the wrong impression though. He must think that I don't wanna be friends with him anymore, but... ntah2 dia ndak noticed pun. Haha. What a fool I was in thinking that he might still feel the same way for me. Luckily I've never said anything about my feelings to him. It would've been the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me if I did.

Nasik plak... Well, I think we are what people call "frienemies"? We still see each other occasionally, especially when I need his help with something. I even asked him to go to What-Ever Suits-You! Vol. 4 with me. Lol. What happened to Miss-Independent-who-goes-to-gigs/concerts/events-alone Nurul? Pfft. Ah peduli la bah. Orang mo cakap apa, cakaplah. Asalkan aku tau mana limit dia. Hari tu masa gig di Ipoh tu, I enjoyed myself more than when I was in Mentakab. Yeah... I have to admit that it was because Nasik was there. Although he wasn't really beside me the whole time, but I felt less self-conscious, I felt more confident, more comfortable, allowing me to enjoy the gig more just like how I used to feel at other gigs before. Pathetic right? But I didn't care because I really wanted to go. Konsert The Cranberries sanggup pulak aku pegi dgn orang yg aku ndak berapa kenal. Lol. You ARE funny Nurul. I guess I'm just seeking for fun, that's all. Kalau bukan dia, mana ada lagi orang yg mau bawa aku jalan2 pi sana sini, pi tengok wayang larut malam, temankan aku pi events camtue. He's so close with me, and I'm really comfortable around him. I can be myself. There's no need to pretend. Too bad. Too bad he's a fuckin' cheater. And I do feel sorry for Shitda, because well, as predicted, he will NEVER change. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Sikit Lagi Femes

Hah! It's been slightly more than a month now since I last blogged. So many things happened and are happening. It's probably gonna need a few days for me to do a recap of things that happened in my life within the past 30 days. Faezah is getting married (THIS WEEKEND), Siti quit B*********y and rejoined Esmerk, I moved back to Serdang, Ally got a new girlfriend, and bla bla bla bla bla. I'll break it down in probably a few posts. And not forgetting, I also need to write about the gig that I went to earlier this month, which was "Smells Like Girls Spirit". :)

OK, all that has to wait as I wanna write about what happened today first. Well, it was another ordinary day for me. Buat kerja macam biasa n bla bla bla. I'm still waiting for my Spongebob bedsheet that was supposed to have arrived last Friday. Urgh... Some technical mistake (by the sender) occurred and I need to wait until this Friday for it to be redelivered to me. Nasib baik PosLaju agreed to resend it to me (for the third time!) at a different address (my house address) instead of Faezah's office. Huh...

A very embarrassing thing happened today too. I found out that my stupid blog had been "discovered" by the GGB people. Arrggghhhh malunyaaaa..... This blog is not really meant to have an audience as I am only writing for myself. They read my "KAMI MAHUKAN GRUNGE, Jangan Tipu Kami!!!" post. It's so embarrassing as it is so simple and stupid and lacking depth and I didn't even give credits to the bands involved appropriately. Like I said, I write for myself, for my own record. But... to some extent, I have expected this anyway. It was just a matter of time until they "caught" me. Well, I'm not really a blogger or critic or some kind of music journalist or whatever, so it doesn't really matter. What I think or say is not really important as I am a nobody. I'm just a random girl who comes to gigs that nobody really knows about. A wallflower, a misfit, an outsider, the "enemy". I write what I see, what I hear, what I feel.

This is the only platform that I have where I don't need to consider other people's feelings as this is my space. My personal ranting space. I don't need to apologise. People are welcome to read what I write in it, however, they must realise that they have no right to whatever the shit that I write about. Like Lester Bangs said to William Miller in Almost Famous, "You should build your reputation on being honest and unmerciful." Honest and unmerciful. Yeah. And like Faezah said to me, "I hope you can retain the same boldness and originality in your blog writing after this." Hell yeah, I will.

Apparently and Pathetically

Apparently and pathetically, your precious boyfriend enjoys spending time with me more than with you. It makes we wonder, are you that boring? *smirks*

Dilemma

OR

 

??????????