New Order

Dear Pitty, 

Today is exactly one week since I've started wearing hijab. You're shocked? It's okay, I expected that. But just so you know, this is not really shocking for me, because I have had the desire to change my image since (okay, be prepared to feel more shocked now) 3 years ago. May 7, 2013 is a really significant date for me because it was the day when I finally decided to cover not only my hair but also my whole body (meaning, you will see less of me in jeans now). Alhamdulillah, it was not too late for me. The day before that, I kept thinking of how am I going to adjust my new image with my old one. I still very much want to maintain my original sense of style (READ: band t-shirts + Converse sneakers) and at the same time covering my entire aurat. So, yeah, here is how I'm going to look like most of the time when I go out now.

First photo!

How do I look in that photo? It was taken on May 7. :)  I really need to shop for more appropriate clothes later, but I think it's enough for now. I already bought two new pashminas, three new shawls, three normal hijab for daily wear, in addition to the two shawls I previously bought to attend kursus kahwin back in 2011 and another one given by Faezah, as well as two new long skirts.

Here are more photos of me wearing hijab. :)

 

Shawl from Faezah! :D

Me with Siti at a Japanese restaurant (forgot the name) at Pavilion last Sunday

I am so happy with my new image. I never thought it would be so easy. On the first day, I did sneak out of the house to avoid my housemate (one of my housemates was home that day) because I didn't want anyone to make such a big fuss about it and though it took a lot of courage for me to go out like that, it got easier day after day. At that moment, I knew that I will never look back once I stepped out of the house wearing hijab, I knew that was it, y'know. I thought I would feel a little regret later, but surprisingly (in a pleasant way), I didn't. And I thank Allah s.w.t for finally opening my heart to make that change. Alhamdulillah, all praises be to Allah, Allahu Akbar. One of the best things about wearing hijab for me is that nobody will ever mistake me for a Chinese (READ: non-muslim) girl again. Now I will be recognised as a muslimah and no words can really describe how happy and glad and proud I am to be one, to be identified as one. I will do the best I can to be a better muslimah, a better servant to Allah. One of my biggest fears is to die without iman... And I hope and I pray that Allah will accept my repentance, my ibadah...

To tell you the truth Pitty, I have been secretly admiring those women who cover their aurat from head to toe. I'm talking about those women who wear tudung labuh, baju labuh, everything labuh. I admire these women. I envy these women. I cringe inside whenever I see them, but like I said, I admire them. I wondered, how strong and deep their iman must be. And how I would love to be one of them. There are still many things to be done for me to get there, to get to that level. Not only in terms of aurat, but EVERYTHING. I will do my best. Not only for me, but also my two younger sisters. And I know Allah will always be with me.

Yours,

Nurul