Hi, I'm Back.

Lepas makan tadi aku pi potong rambut. Ah, haircut yg sama lagi. Same old, same old. Aku pun natau sudah tiap kali kalau pi potong rambut mau haircut apa. Kadang2 mau jugak aku cakap sama amoi kedai gunting rambut tu, "Ha suka hati kau lah mau potong camana", tapi, nanti dorang putung bidak2 baru tau. Jadi macam biasa, aku cakap sama amoi tu, "Potong rambut depan paras kening, rambut belakang paras bahu, lurus je, jangan bengkang bengkok." I didn't really say the three last words. Hehe. Kunun mau cuci kain hari ni, tapi, aku lupa yg sabun cuci kain aku sudah tinggal sikit. Budu kan. Lupa pi beli refill pack dia. Ship. Jadi aku ada excuse untuk procrastinate lagi yayyy!!! Hahahaha. Huh, sebenarnya aku tengah pening ba ni. Tengah pening mau cari bilik tempat lain ka atau cari roommate. Sebenarnya, aku suka dengan lokasi rumah aku sekarang ni. Strategik. Dekat ngan Maybank, kedai makan pun banyak, kedai runcit lagilah, berlambak2, n lagi satu, dekat ngan Faezah. Cuma.... Bila aku fikirkan public transportation dia, n the inconvenience that I have to go through every time after some events or gigs, urgh... Buat aku betul2 lagi mau pindah dari tempat ni. Kalau dulu, at least ada Faezah, bilik ni pun jadi murah gila gila kalau ada roommate. Ada jak orang yg desperate call aku mau masuk bulan 2 ni jugak, tapi....... Entahlah.... Lagi2 sekarang ada Fatin di sini. Mesti dia boring kalau tiap kali mo balik rumah aku kena naik komuter, pastue tunggu lagi bas dalam sejam dua, baru sampai rumah. Padahal, dari Komuter Serdang tu pigi rumah aku ni lebih kurang 10 minit jak kalau naik kereta. Ship. Kereta. Huh. I wish I already knew how to drive so I won't have to worry about when will I ever register for the driving school!!! Urghhhh.... Banyak benda yg aku belum buat dalam dunia ni. Banyak benda yg lambat tul aku mo buat dalam dunia ni. But I know, I know it's never too late. I'm just late. Huh. But yeah, aku memang ada banyak sangat regrets dalam hidup aku. Sometimes I feel like a loser too, and I am getting sick of the question of bila aku mau ambil lesen memandu??? Everybody keeps asking me that, EVERYBODY!!! And aku rasa macam mau lempar jak something di muka dorang every time they asked me that and tell them to shut, the, fuck, up. Macam benda tu the biggest sin in this world that any one could ever commit y'know. It's sickening! I know I'm not the only human being who doesn't have a driver's licence in this world! Walaupun mungkin bilangannya 9:1. Aku tau betapa pentingnya lesen memandu dan kereta tu, sebab tu lah aku mau ambil sejak aku habis Form 5 lagi!!!! Tapi, y'know, my parents couldn't afford it or maybe they are just the type of parents who expect their children will use their own money for that kind of thing. The thing is, aku memang nda pernah terfikir mau drive di KL ni. Aku kalau boleh memang nda mau pun drive DALAM KL. Even Faezah sendiri refuses to drive in KL. Sebab tu tiap kali kalau dia perlu ke KL sebelum ni dia akan park kereta dia di Sungai Besi dan naik tren jak. Itu dululah. Sekarang husband dia suda ada sini jadi kalau pi mana2 dengan Baen, memang Baen la yg drive. And, aku, memang sebelum duduk di Serdang ni kerja di KL, tinggal di area near KL. Lagipun rumah aku sebelum ni dekat gila dengan Putra LRT, jadi memang lesen memandu tu was NEVER my priority, despite my mom's, my aunts', my sisters', my closest friends', my not so close friends', and even Faezah's mom's endless nagging about it. Urgh. I AM SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why won't they just leave me the fuck alone!!!! Huh. I have been left alone pun sebenarnya. Ezura left me, now Faezah pun sudah left me. Sometimes I regret letting myself be the one who's left behind instead of the other way round. Sometimes I regret not leaving first when I could. I didn't because it would make me feel bad or sad, but nobody fuckin' care when they left me. Now, I have to get used to eating alone again, y'know. Faezah was the biggest part of my recovering-from-major-heartbreaks-period, y'know, and now she has abandoned me too!! Demyuh Baen, you stole Faezah from me!!!! My best friend, my confidante, my listener, my advisor. Sekarang kalau Faezah balik BP pun mana ada ajak aku sudah. Ya la, I have been totally replaced by Baen. (hehe jangan marah ah Kak Nam Lalat Hijau kalau terbaca ni, saja jak being over dramatic). But I know, I can't expect her to be single all her life. I mean, live a "single life" all her life. She's expecting her first baby now.... It's a boy... We are already calling him Yusuf... I'm so happy for her. For her new life, new happiness. Why am I being such a wet blanket right. Ntah hapa2 aku ni. Tadi mula2 cakap pasal benda lain, sekarang lain pulak. Haha. Mungkin banyak sangat fikir aku ni. Huh.... Life.... Adult life.... Single adult life.... Single and lonely adult life.... Single, lonely and poor adult life.... is no fun.