Sunday, July 30, 2023

Randomly Rambling

It's 10:33 pm on Saturday night, and here I am, just waking up from my slumber, feeling a bit sweaty. I fell asleep in front of the TV again. I was watching WHAT/ IF on Netflix. My husband isn't back from the mosque yet. I don't remember him telling me if he would be going to talaqqi after Isya'. That's actually his Thursday or Friday night routine. I checked my phone, no messages nor calls from him, but no worries, I'll just take this moment to jot down how my day went, or rather, how my husband and I spent it together.

So, this morning started way too early at 2 am. Yeah, 2 FRIGGING AM. After a quick bathroom trip, I fed my cats their kibbles (this is my little routine whenever I wake up in the middle of the night). Then I made my way upstairs to the guest room. I prefer sleeping (or doing just about anything) in this room now because it's the only one with AC, and the nights can get pretty hot (let alone in daytime). Anyway, I decided to scroll through Facebook and TikTok until around 3:30 am. Then, I thought to myself, "You know what, I'm going to join my husband for breakfast today." So off to the shower I went, because I had to leave the house with him at dawn (it's his daily routine to pick up my mom-in-law at her place in Sembulan after Subuh prayer and take her to the Kota Kinabalu market).

After that little task was done, we headed to the OldTown White Coffee Gaya Street outlet, the one we visited on Wednesday where I spent a half day doing my work, remember? I ordered half-boiled eggs on toasts again, but this time, I also had some noodles and a cup of hot white coffee. My husband went for the rice and chicken rendang, although he originally wanted fried chicken, which was unavailable. Odd. *shrugs* He also had the kaya+butter toasts, just like last time, and the drink that I had on Wednesday.

I don't know why I'm getting into the nitty-gritty details of my day, but hey, let's move on. After a satisfying breakfast, we made a trip to JPJ at UTC to pick up a physical road tax, even though I already got the digital version. My husband insisted on having a physical copy, so there we were. But guess what? Turns out, I have to claim it from the Bundusan headquarters (on Monday or any working day) because I purchased the digital road tax through MyEG instead of JPJ's website. Sigh, what a waste of time and energy. Oh well, these things happen, right? While at the JPJ UTC office, we ran into my uncle, Pacik Nawi! He was there to renew his road tax too. We had a little catch up and parted ways to continue with our respective errands of the day.

Next stop was Centrepoint, but since it was still pretty early at 9:30 am, most of the lights weren't even on yet.


We thought about catching a movie later, maybe Barbie, but my husband wasn't too keen on the idea. Since nothing else interesting was showing based on the Growball Cinemax website, we went straight ahead to do a little shopping for some chocolates and cookies for ourselves and also my bestie, No Joke. Poor thing, she injured both her legs after landing on her knees during netball training, so we decided to surprise her with the chocolates and cookies, and also her favourite McD cheeseburger. It's been ages since I last saw her. The last time we spent time together was during the brief visit she made to my place back in end-May. Life's been keeping her busy with netball and silat practices, and everything else in between.

I actually wanted to go see Barbie with her and Farah. But of course, that couldn’t happen due to the incident, which left No Joke bedridden, unable to walk normally. A little background story: Farah is in the same netball team as No Joke; Farah and I went to the same primary and secondary schools, but only became friends in Form 4; while No Joke and I first met in Form 1 and became besties since Form 2.

From left: Yours truly, Farah, No Joke ๐Ÿ’—

I hope she has a swift recovery, insya-Allah. She mentioned taking a break from netball for at least a year, and while I felt a twinge of mixed emotions, I know it's essential for her well-being. I admit, I sometimes felt a bit left out since she and Farah got deeply involved in netball, playing in tournaments even in Brunei. She was supposed to play in a tournament in Kota Belud too. Too bad, that also couldn’t happen now. But hey, everything happens for a reason and there is definitely a hikmah behind all of this. Maybe this is a sign for her to take some time for herself. And she absolutely deserves the rest and care. She has been taking care of her family all this time, so it’s her turn now. This may make me sound a little selfish, but I hope we get to spend more time after this. I missed my best friend.

Speaking of which, my husband is back now. Turns out he did go to talaqqi and a kenduri afterward. All is well, I suppose.

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Thriving Through the Work Whirlwind

Phew! Just wrapped up the day's work and survived our monthly team meeting. Today was a wild rollercoaster work-wise, but hey, it's bearable because I'm currently stationed at my favourite cafe, October Coffee House (well, it's actually the second cafe/restaurant I visited today after OldTown White Coffee, where I spent my morning till noon). You might wonder, why not work from home as per the usual? Well, I had this paranoia that my place might experience yet another blackout like it did yesterday and the day before. Can't risk losing precious time due to power outages! I had a mission to send a daily report for QC by 12.15 pm sharp (spoiler alert: I missed the QC deadline, but we somehow got it out to the client by 1 pm, hooray for us!). The pressure was on, considering it was a new thing for all of us, and to make things more thrilling, it was my first time working on the report (my colleague Aina handled it during the first round). Talk about a nerve-racking joyride!

And hold onto your hats, because here's the real kicker: my workload for the month isn't even close to being finished yet! Can you believe it? My team and I are about to embark on a wild ride, trying to churn out not one, but two more papers on top of our usual assignments, all before the month comes to an end (or at least early next month). Insane, right? It's like we're riding a rollercoaster through a tornado of work, but hey, we're ready to embrace the crazy and conquer it all! Let's buckle up and make this month one for the books!

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Part 5: 10 Random Questions

1. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?

I used to daydream about having either Invisibility or Telepathy as my superpower, but lately, I've become enamoured with the idea of Time Travel, which is undeniably captivating. Just imagine journeying back to iconic moments like The Beatles era, basking in the presence of legends like Kurt Cobain, or reliving cherished memories from our childhood. The allure of being a time traveller lies not only in revisiting the past but also venturing forward into the unknown future. However, I must admit that the prospect of peering into the future frightens me a little. There's a certain beauty in the mystery that the future holds, and I'd rather not know the precise details of my life's unfolding events. The fear of learning about when and how I’d leave the world, whether I’d still be married to my husband, or the impending doomsday is enough to make me hesitant about unravelling the secrets of time.

2. What's your favourite book or movie and why does it resonate with you?

Image Source: Film School Rejects

500 Days of Summer is always going to be one of my all-time favourite movies not only because of the perfect combination of Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but also for its heartfelt and thought-provoking characteristics. It resonates with me because I appreciate its realistic portrayal of relationships, its quirky humour, its memorable soundtrack (Indie pop and alternative?? Yasssss), the themes of heartbreak, self-discovery, personal growth, and the complexities of human connections. And I could also really relate to Tom. I used to see myself as the female version of Tom Hansen. Getting severely heart-broken and not feeling like getting up to go to work, and eventually quitting the job? Been there, done that.

3. If you could travel back in time, which historical era would you visit and what would you do there?

Okay, this is kinda creepy because I just talked about wanting to have Time Travel as a superpower. ๐Ÿ˜ฑ But if I had to choose a historical era to visit (apart from The Beatles and Nirvana eras), I would choose The Renaissance period for the artistic and cultural treasures. I would visit Renaissance cities such as Florence, Rome, Venice, or Paris and be immersed by the culture, art, and music of the time.

4. What is one skill or hobby you've always wanted to learn but haven't had the chance to yet?

Playing the HARMONICA. Ugh. Yes! I'd love to learn how to play a harmonica. I almost signed up for a harmonica class when I was still living in KL 10,000 years ago, but I chickened out because I didn't have anyone to go with. I was too afraid to do it on my own. I wish I wasn't though.

5. If you could live in any fictional universe, which one would it be and why?

HARRY POTTER. Need I say more??

6. What's your go-to comfort food or favourite cuisine?

MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM.

7. If you could have dinner with any famous person, dead or alive, who would it be and what would you talk about?

Obviously, Kurt Cobain. And I would ask him how he really, actually died.

8. What's your favourite place you've ever visited, and what made it so special to you?

Image Source: iStock

Madinah. Ya Allah, if I could turn back time (again with the time travelling theme ๐Ÿ˜„) to that moment when I felt really at peace. I miss that feeling. Subhanallah. I'm so grateful for it. Semoga dapat pegi lagi nanti dengan suami aku pulak, insya-Allah aaaminnnn...

9. If you had the opportunity to change one thing about the world, what would it be and why?

Hm macam tau-tau jak kan 10 random questions generator ni. ๐Ÿ˜… Well, this is what I posted on Threads the other day, word by word.

"If someone asked me the one thing that I want for this world right now, it would be less discrimination. I don't wanna discriminate or judge people for their chosen lifestyles, what they wanna wear, their sexual orientation or whatever, and I also don't wanna get discriminated or judged for sticking to my religious beliefs. Can we just do that? I'm sick of it. Truly. I just want peace."

10. What's the most adventurous or daring thing you've ever done in your life?

Going on that compulsory Outward Bound Sabah trip when I was in Lower Form 6. We were made to go hiking, rock climbing, flying-foxing, kayaking, etc. Imagine ME doing all that.

Monday, July 24, 2023

Random Stuff Going On Inside My Head

Pejam celik, pejam celik, tiba-tiba mau habis suda bulan Julai tinggal berapa hari jak lagi. Haha. My last blog post was in January. I got too busy with work and kinda forgot about my daily blogging target. ๐Ÿ˜… So many things had happened in between. And yes, I managed to complete the Google Data Analytics Course by the end of May, alhamdulillah. My husband and I had our 4th anniversary celebration on June 8 at Borneo Beach Villas and we continued staycationing at the Toojou hotel the following day. My workplace bestie Aina came to visit KK for a couple of days in mid-June. I (and actually my husband too hehe) took her on a tour of KK for a whole day on June 22. We were only able to take her to spots within KK coz she had a "curfew" so we couldn't go to places outside the town centre. My husband and I balik kampung and spent a couple of nights in Sipitang for the Raya Haji holiday. We went camping FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER in early July at Polumpung Melangkap View Camp Site for two nights. Ugh so many interesting activities!! And I hope we continue to do this at least once a month.































This week is going to be a busy week for me too until at least the end of month. Last week was the busiest week I've had since so long. That's alright I guess because the 1st two weeks of July, my workload was so light, like, I didn't have anything to submit on most days so I spent my free time reinstalling The Sims 4 on my laptop (and playing it of course ๐Ÿ˜…).

Anyways, I'm super glad that I didn't go to the Good Vibes Festival 2023. It turned out to be a disaster because of that one stupid band whose name I'm not even going to mention in here. I'm so glad I didn't purchase the tickets to the supposedly 3-day festival. By now everybody already knows what went down so there is no need for me to repeat the outrageous story here. It just makes me feel sick. Not in a disgusted way, but just tired. I long for the world where we can actually accept each others' differences, where no one feels entitled to shove their beliefs, their ideology down other people's throats.

It's very hypocritical of them for wanting us to accept their so-called progressive ideas, but at the same time refuse to accept the fact that not everyone thinks the way they do, not everyone wants to live the way they do. It's hypocrite of them for not wanting to be viewed as some kind of monster but that is how they look at us. EVIL EXTREMIST MONSTERS. Isn't that ironic? What happens to no prejudice, no judgment, no discrimination? Just like they don't want to be discriminated or judged for the lifestyle that they chose, for their sexual orientation, I also don't want to be discriminated for sticking to my faith, my religious beliefs. I just want PEACE.

Eh tibehhhh jak aku haha. Sekarang ni semua terbalik suda. Kita yg mau stick pada ajaran agama plak yg kena pandang serong. Dituduh kolot. Berlagak holier-than-thou. Dan macam-macam lagi la. And on a completely different note, what is up with Elon Musk planning on changing the name of Twitter to X? X?????? X???????? Ih suda la, tiba-tiba jak bertukar mood kan. ๐Ÿ˜‘

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Part 4: 10 Random Questions

I'm taking a short break from the Google Analytics Course and decided to do this for my blog content. This is me keeping my promise to myself to do a double-post whenever I missed 1 day of my daily blogging target, okay. So, here goes.

1. What song was or do you want to be for your first dance at your wedding?

My wedding ceremony was held at a mosque, the same day my husband and I were solemnised. We didn't have a banquet/hall reception. We didn't have that type of wedding, just like my wish for everything to be simple and easy. But if we had that kind of wedding, I would want Mazzy Star's Fade Into You to be playing during our first dance.

2. What song would make the best theme music for you?

Someday by The Strokes. It reminds me of my uni years when my roomie and I used to listen to The Strokes in her car all the time. Good old times.

3. What is the most irrational superstition you have?

I can't think of one at the moment. I guess I don't really believe in those kinds of things. But I'll get back to this in case I remember if I do have one.

4. What is the weirdest food combination you enjoy?

Sambal/jeruk/serondeng tuhau with instant noodles. Yum!

5. What is the stupidest thing you ever did on a dare?

Mmmmmm can't remember this one too! I'll get back to this. Lol. Sorry. Faktor usia kali. Hahaha.

6. What is the worst date you have ever been on?

Ugh. I cringe at being reminded of this. Okay. I was 17. I met this guy at the Kota Kinabalu library when I was studying for SPM. He saw me and asked for my name and number. Being a girl who didn't have any guy showing an interest for her (IRL) at the time, I felt flattered and excited that a guy (he was older, I think he was in his 20s at the time, he told me that he was studying at some university) finally asked for my phone number. So he contacted me that night and asked me out the next day. Excitedly (and stupidly), I agreed. To cut the story short, he ended up taking me to a staircase of a mall (Centrepoint I believe), we sat there and talked for a bit and then he tried to convince me to kiss him. When I refused, he asked me why did I agree to go out with him in the first place? I remember feeling so confused. Well, I thought, you liked me? He asked a couple more times but I still said no. So then we left and I went back home. I remember him asking me to go out with him again. I said okay. But he said, on one condition, he wanted us to kiss this time. YIKES! Of course I said NO. But then he asked again, why did I agree to go out with him again? And then I don't remember what I said next but we never went out again and I think that was the last I heard from him. I know. I was stupid to think that a guy really did like me. When I got older, I realised that he was a predator and a friggin' paedophile going after impressionable minors who didn't have a clue! He should be behind bars!!

7. Who is the most embarrassing person you had a crush on?

Haha okay. I remember this one. At that time, I was working at a local record store located at Wisma Merdeka to gain some pocket money after completing STPM and to fill my free time while waiting for my STPM results. There was this guy who was working at a Kenwood store (it's an electronics shop), he had a Chinese look, not sure what his race was but not Malay I guess. He wore Jack Purcell. That was what caught my eye apart from his looks. I nicknamed him Kenwood. Lol. The Kenwood store was located 1 level above the record store I was working at, and facing the record store. So I could easily watch him whenever he was hanging out outside the shop, which was also our main route to the food court. Lol. Hepi tul kalau time mau pi beli makanan tu bah. Ahahahaha. I've never told my colleagues that I had a crush on that guy, but it became obvious because they could see me staring upstairs from my standing point (we had our own stations designated by our boss so mine was at the centremost, very near the door so it was also the easiest spot where I could "stalk" him). Lol. There were 4 of us: me, Nor, Kak Nor, and Hana. So they used to tease me every time I looked up and they also liked to send me up to the food court to buy food for them. Lol. Of course I didn't mind. Sometimes Nor would accompany me and we would laugh tergedik-gedik when we saw him lol. It was fun. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Eventually, it became obvious even for him too! HAHAHA. So I started noticing that he was also watching me whenever he was hanging out outside of the Kenwood store (this was his norm for a short break I guess). Until, one day, he came into OUR store!!! We were all so shocked by it and had to control our excited laughter. CAN YOU IMAGINE?? ROFL. But then, one day, Nor told me that he was actually married to a woman whom I sometimes saw with him. She was cute but chubby. A lot chubbier than me. And sometimes she gave me a knowing look, y'know, like, she knew what was going on. I've never even spoken to the guy, lol.

Okay, that wasn't the most embarrassing part to be honest. It was this: One day, I saw him laugh, and then I saw it. He didn't have teeth di tengah-tengah bahagian atas. ๐Ÿ˜… My colleagues also knew. So they, Nor especially, started to tease me about it (sebenarnya Nor dan Kak Nor pun rongak jugak, so I tried not to make it seems like it was a big deal for fear of hurting their feelings lol. It's not like I have perfect teeth anyway. It is in fact, my BIGGEST insecurity). So to be honest, I didn't mind. It's just the teasing jak lah that made me feel embarrassed. And then I guess, it ended just like that. Actually, my crush on him ended not really because of that, but more due to him being married. So I respected that. I respected his wife. I'm sorry, I didn't know. ๐Ÿ˜…

8. What is your idea of the perfect day?

Going on a date with my husband somewhere nice and romantic where we don't need to worry about anything else.

9. If you could swap lives with one of your friends, who would it be?

To be honest, no one. I'm not saying this in a cocky, arrogant way. No. It's because, it would mean that, I wouldn't have my husband as my husband. I love him. Wouldn't want to swap him for anyone or anything else. And I'm so grateful to Allah for lending me him. My life has been so much better with him in it. Thank you Allah. ๐Ÿ’—

10. Who knows the most secrets about you?

Allah swt.

Just a Short Note on a Sunday Morning

Assalammualaikum, good morning. I'm sorry I didn't blog yesterday. I was busy with the Google Analytics Course thingy after returning home from the wedding reception. There was nothing interesting to write about anyway. There is nothing interesting to write about. My life is just the same every, single, day. I don't need a reminder of it. It makes me not want to get up and do anything. I feel so numb right now. Like nothing is worth it. It's not that I'm not grateful. I am. But. There is always a but.

I'm sorry.

Saturday, January 28, 2023

A Summary of My Day

Ugh okay, I know it's almost 1 am now, so it's technically the 28th of January. Meaning I missed one day of my so-called daily blogging target. Sigh. It's okay. I'll make it up with double posts for every day that I miss. Cool. I can do that. ๐Ÿ˜“ Lol.

So today, I took my cats Gapil and Zazu to the vet because Zazu has been having a lil trouble with peeing, which I remembered noticing to start since last week, whereas Gapil needed to get his vaccination to prepare him for his long-overdue neutering. It's scheduled next Wednesday, which is perfect because it's gonna be a day off for meee yay! This is because it's a Federal Territory Day on that day (1st of February), and because I follow KL holidays, sooo iolls cuti laaaa hehe. I've been meaning to get them both neutered for the longest time, but I only had the opportunity to bring both of them to the vet today. It wasn't Gapil's 1st time being at the vet though coz he also had the same problem before where he had to be warded for nearly a week for his treatment. I'll bring Zazu for neutering once his urinary problem gets better. He was prescribed with 4 kinds of medicines, so he needs to finish them or at least gets better first before I can bring him to the vet for neutering. I think he's already getting better because um, he was able to pee again earlier, alhamdulillah. Habis merata dia kencing tadi. ๐Ÿ˜’ But it's alright, because it means that the medicines are working. As for Gapil, he was prescribed with "Kena start jaga makan suda. Kurangkan makan ayam, sekali seminggu jak" and "bawa dia main setiap hari". ๐Ÿ˜…

After sending the cats back home, my husband and I went to Daily Coffee at Aeropod, a quite new Instagram-worthy hip cafe in Kota Kinabalu (if I'm not mistaken it is actually based in Penang). It was our 2nd visit. This time I ordered their Peach Fruit Blended and S'more Chocolate Waffle, while my husband had Hot Chocolate and Crispy Chicken Fried Rice. Despite being served with 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream, the waffle was meh, it was too hard for my liking and definitely not as I expected. I will not order it again in the future for sure. The Peach Fruit Blended was good although I prefer the mango one (I wanted to have the Mango Fruit Blended but they were out of mangoes so I opted for peach). My husband's Crispy Chicken Fried Rice was okay according to my tastebuds but my husband was not impressed. He said the fried rice from the restaurant near our house tastes better but I think it wasn't too bad.

During our 1st visit, my husband ordered Grilled Chicken Burger, which was good. I wanted to try their Egg Benedict but it was sold out at the time. Next time aku mau try itu sama dorang punya Mac & Cheese sebab kawan aku cakap Mac & Cheese dorang sedap (nah tiba-tiba BM plak hahaha). Please excuse my bahasa rojak. Sama kenapa tiba-tiba macam jadi food review ni? Hahaha. I also ordered their Salmon Rolls to go (I did too last time hehe coz I love salmon pastries. Yum!) Yang bestnya Daily Coffee ni, they have a buy-1-free-1 promotion for all pastries every day after 6 pm (members only). Their other member benefits that I can recall include free sliced cake during birthday month and buy-1-free-1 for cakes every Thursday. So best jugak laa.. RM10 jak ka kalau nda silap the membership fee (not sure if it's lifetime or annual though, I forgot).

Eeee pukul 2 pulak suda ui. Bah kasi habis la ni. Ahaha. Kira mau sambung itu Google Analytics Course but I need to sleep coz tomorrow at 10 am my husband is taking me to a wedding reception. But before that, nah iolls belanja gambar dulu. ๐Ÿ˜ Some of these were taken during our 1st visit. I sort it randomly jak. Can you guess which ones are from the 1st visit and which ones from the 2nd? Hehe. Let me know in the comments! (cakap macam la ada ramai followers kau hahaha).

Okay laa.. Let's call it a night. Until next blog post! Take care~








Honestly, this waffle doesn't really look appetizing, does it?

Thursday, January 26, 2023

My First Blog Post After EXACTLY Six Long Years

Whoa. I did not realise that my last blog entry was posted on the exact same date, same day, 6 years ago. That gives me goosebumps. *still in disbelief of the uncanny coincidence which is almost creepy*

Okay. The reason for this blog post is because I saw a tweet by someone I've been following for a while on Twitter (actually I've been following her since the Myspace era) that she has started blogging again a couple of days ago, and planning on doing so every single day moving forward. That's what prompted me to log in to this space of mine and do a little housekeeping (although I'm too lazy to change how my older blog posts look like so the photos might look distorted or disorganised and the fonts won't look like my newer posts), which brought me to this moment where I am sitting on my work chair, in the living room of the place that my husband and I now call home. Alhamdulillah.

For the sake of a little update, I have been married (happily, alhamdulillah) to my husband for nearly 4 years now. Our anniversary will be on June 8. No, we have yet to have any child, but have been blessed with Gapil and Zazu (the only 2 cats that we are able to keep). We used to have more cats but due to certain circumstances, we had to send them away to a cat shelter. I wish we didn't have to. I wish we could keep them all. I still cry in my heart whenever I think of them. As if that would make it any better. I'm so sorry kitties... :(

I don't know where this blog post is going but actually, I should really be doing something else. Ugh. Yes. The Google Data Analytics Course, which I have to complete by January 31, 2023, which is NEXT TUESDAY. ARGGGHHH... We (my 3 other colleagues and I) have been given several extensions to complete the course (which by the way has EIGHT sub-courses) and I am still stuck at Course 5. So I really better be doing that instead of this. So, this is where this blog post will abruptly end. Until tomorrow. Insya-Allah.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Of Love and Sorrow

I realised now that every time I open this blog and start writing, it means that something has saddened me. Yes, I realised now that I tend to write when I'm sad, which means that sadness inspires me more rather than happiness. It's easier to jot down my feelings when I'm sad. It kind of gives me an excuse to speak what is really going on in my head and in my heart. And I love that feeling. Apparently, I love feeling sad. Sadness stimulates my mind, it makes me more alert, attentive, watchful. It keeps me conscious, focused. It gives me time to reflect. It gives me life.

Why am I sad? Or rather, why does being in a relationship make me feel sad instead of joy? If I love being sad so much, why am I hearing this voice in my heart saying that this isn't right? This isn't what I want? Why is it constantly telling me to get out of this non-existent relationship? To make me happy? Now, isn't that ironic?

I am not the person I was 7 or 8 years ago. I can never be that person anymore. I mean, in terms of loving someone. I don't think I will ever be able to love someone the way I used to. The way I could in my previous relationship. I think, when I lost that relationship, I somehow lost that person I was. Of course I can never be her again. She was naive. Trusting. And foolish. I am not all that anymore. Maybe I am still a fool, but I am certainly not  naive. The problem is, it makes it hard for me to keep my faith in that thing we love to call love.

What is love? To tell the truth, I don't know. I honestly have no idea. I love AE, but actually I'm not sure if he's right for me. I know he loves me. I know he does. But there are so many things about him that disenchanted me. I'm sorry that I'm saying this, but it's true. I tried to accept him the way he is, I tried to turn a blind eye, I tried to tell myself that it's okay, no one's perfect, and it's not perfection that I am after, not at all. But I cannot lie to myself any longer. And it's not okay. It's not that he's not a kind person, he is. In fact, he is one of the kindest persons I've ever met. He cares about his family so much. And those are some of the qualities I am looking for in a partner. But I don't know why, it doesn't feel right. Something is missing somewhere and I can't quite explain it.

I've been treating him so poorly. I've been acting like a jerk. Not answering his phone calls, not texting him back, picking a fight. I feel like breaking up, but at the same time I don't want to. Because... Because it would break my heart... and it would make me sad... now, this is really ironic, isn't it? And I know I sound like a selfish prick. Only thinking of myself. But if I were to justify it, I am saving him from a broken heart too, am I not?

- Written on Saturday, November 12, 2016 -

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Part 3: 10 Random Questions

1. Do you like to dance?
Hmmm I have to say no. I do love the song I'd Rather Dance With You by Kings of Convenience though. I love watching people dance.

2. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yeah, why not. But not alone of course.

3. Does your name make any interesting anagrams?
Are these considered interesting? Ruin, run, ran, hurl, hail, haul, annul, annual, urn, inn.

4. Who made the last incoming call on your phone?
My boyfriend. :)

5. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
My QCed weekly report for U.O.B yesterday. Boringggg I know.

6. Last time you swam in a pool?
Ages ago. I can't even remember.

7. Type of music you like most?
Rock N Roll!

8. Type of music you dislike most?
Dance music. I mean the electronic, clubbing, DJed type.

9. Are you listening to music right now?
Yes, I am. The song playing right now is Musician, Please Take Heed from the God Help the Girl soundtrack.

10. What colour is your bedroom carpet?
I don't have any in my bedroom.